Thursday, February 16, 2012

Hi, my name is Kati...

...and I'm a foodaholic *in particular, the carbish variety*.

Some people have addictions to drugs, alcohol, facebook, and probably a bunch of other things.  But me, I have an addiction to food.  I just looked up addiction on and got this definition *which seems appropriate*:  the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

Enslaved.  Yep.  That's it.

Unlike people who are addicted to drugs or alcohol, one can't give up food.  Food helps to sustain you and makes your body work.  Without it, one would be considered anorexic *at least, here in this country.*

I talked about how I was 'molded' in this post back when I began this blog.  I've always had this love/hate relationship with food *although as I got older, it was more of a love thing.*  When I was in high school, I ate very little *I think if I ate such a small amount now, I'd probably starve!!*  My lunch usually consisted of a half sandwich, half a piece of fruit *like a peach*, maybe a cookie, and maybe 8oz of milk.  I don't remember whether I ate breakfast or not *I'm sure my mom might remember.*  

Food has always been and will always be, a crutch.  Again, I can't give it up entirely, but I can't live without it.  I'd imagine that many of you who read this blog are in the same place.  Maybe you've struggled with anorexia or bulimia.  Maybe you still do.  There is help out there.  For me, saying it 'out loud' makes it more real.  Consider yourselves my therapy.  When my heart aches because I'm hurt, someone is whispering, "Feed it.  Feed the hurt."  *Think of the cartoons where the little 'devil' guy pops up on the character's shoulder.  Yeah that..for me.*  Then my brain says, "You really don't want to do that because you'll be back where you started."

Being a foodaholic is tough.  There is no cure.  It will be a life long battle.  But, each day that you are triumphant, is a step closer to victory.

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