So, I took a walk today. It's beautiful out. I'm rocking the tunes. And as I turn to complete my first mile, and I'm fighting against past memories in my brain...I start to cry. I'm sure I was quite a sight to see. Crying and sweaty, but walking it out. The tears? A walking revelation. It seems as though I've been getting those a lot lately. Moving on.
The revelation? I have a fear of gaining weight again. A fear of what other people see me as. I'm not sure if this is an unhealthy fear or a healthy one.
I also learned another important tidbit. I wear my heart rate monitor when I do most of my exercises. I just found out that a good portion of my exercises are considered to be in the 'vigorous' category. If I base my numbers on this site, then my max HR is 186, my 50% of HR would be 93, 75% would be 130, and 85% would be 158. My vigorous range is between 130 and 158. The moderate range would be between 93 and 130. Generally speaking, my HR is over 140 when I walk and it's been logged as high as 157. This is very helpful information for me.
I'm feeling some better today. It is certainly a process.
I'm looking forward to dinner. Pork tenderloin, quinoa, fresh cauliflower, and a salad. So, I guess if we're going to eat it, I better make it.