Friday, January 18, 2013

Approval Seeking

Are you the type of person who seeks approval?  What I mean is, do you look to other people (family, friends, coworkers) for their approval?  Or are you the type of person who doesn't care what other people think?  You've done your time of worrying about what others think, and now, you can say without a care, "The heck with them!"

I have often been that approval seeker.  I have been the one who looks to her husband, *sometimes* children, parents, grandparents, sister, and friends...almost in the desire for validation.  I guess...more often than not, I am the seeker.  On the flip side, I am more than willing to give encouragement, a compliment, or become the one who gives validation *because I know all to well that we need a little validity in our lives.*

For quite some time, I thought that I drove people away because of my weight.  My excessive size made me feel awkward around others.  When I was pregnant, I didn't feel like the cute pregnant girl.  I did a lot of hiding or sitting in the corner.  I felt as though I couldn't 'keep up' or share the same outlook on life.  My life never seemed to mesh with others and the approval that I sought was never found.

Now that I am my leaner self, running 3-4 times a week, fitting in other healthy activities, and eating better, I still often feel as though I drive people away.  I feel as though they think that I'm watching them, that I'm watching what they eat or what they put on their plate.  To be honest, when I'm at a 'food function', I'm more concerned about what I'm putting on my plate than what others are doing for themselves.  And if my girls are with me, I'm also wrangling them.

I'm trying to move myself toward the not worrying about what others think phase of life.

Have you ever successfully transitioned from a seeker to one who is unaffected? If you have, do you have any tips?

If you've never been a seeker, how do you keep from worrying about what others think?

And lastly, if you are a seeker like me, I feel ya.  It's a hard place to be!

One last thought, you are who you are.  You are loved no matter what.  There should be no conditions to the love that others have for you.

Just.  Be.  You.

1 comment:

  1. Beth Moore's book and study on Insecurity is a good one. It is something that we all struggle with and it is something that even the "skinny" girls struggle with. You aren't alone.