Nearly two years ago...

In just a few short days, I will be celebrating two years of beginning my journey to healthy.  I can't believe it to be honest.  It seems like yesterday.  It all began on October 1st, 2010.  It was the year my youngest was born.  I was tired of being behind the camera instead of in front of it.  This is where it began.  The picture in this post, is as close to where I was at when it all started.

At some point, I was able to look over my journey and see it like this.  And in this post, I talk about why I feel like a 'former fat girl'.  I think some people never really saw me as fat.  I just had a bit of extra padding tacked onto my tall frame.  I know it had started to have an effect on my internal organs and on my knees.  Let's just say age and weight were starting to catch up to me.

Then there was this post that marked the difference a year can make. 

This is me now.  I took this picture on my 35th birthday.  Yes, it's been two years, but it still isn't as easy as I'd hoped.  Losing weight and keeping it off is hard work.  It's not for the faint of heart.  I think if people say it's easy...they're full of it!

The other part of celebrating two years...I have logged my food every day for two years.  I'm sitting here looking at my notebook that has today's food stuffs listed in it.  Will I ever be able to stop logging?  Most likely not.  Do I mind?  No, not really.  It is what it is.  By writing down what I eat, I can keep myself accountable.  Without it, I'd probably start adding the pounds back on.

The journey continues.  What about yours?

Two Weeks & Happy 100!

Picture this on this fall morning:  alarm goes off at 5:20 a.m. *the sun isn't up yet and the streetlights are still on*; my feet are hitting the pavement at 5:35 a.m. *streetlights are still on and my brain is feeling a bit foggy*; I walk back in the door at shortly after 6 to stretch and at 6:25 a.m., I check the thermometer.  It is 39 degrees outside.  I knew it was cold when I walked out the door because I could see my breath, but wow!

I completed week 6 in my C25K journey *that is couch to 5K* just today.  I never in a million years would have imagined that I would be jogging/running for any length of time.  Today's training was 5 minutes of warm up walking, 22 minutes of non-stop jogging, and 5 minutes of cool down.  I'm not making the distance, but I'm not off by much *maybe 1/4 of a mile*.  I tagged my high school volleyball coach in my facebook status this morning.  Her response:  "Definitely not the girl I knew at Pembroke!!! You're definitely an awesome role model for your children! I always knew you had it in you! You just needed time to blossom and find yourself!!!"  Find myself?  Finally...just shy of 35.  Sheesh...it took me long enough.

I have just two weeks left in my training.  In some ways, I'm in shock that I'm nearly finished.  Starting on Saturday, each of my training days include:  a 5 minute warm-up, 25 minute jog/run *or 2.5 miles*, and a 5 minute cool down.  Then, it's week 8!  It's been basically two challenges in one.  I'm still striving for my 500 miles *did I mention I've hit 300?*  But, I'm also gaining strength in this whole running thing too. 

So Kati, what will you do next after finishing your C25K?  I think I'll keep going.  There is a 10k app that I can go on to and it will allow me to skip the first 8 weeks, so really, I will be moving towards 6 miles in another 6 weeks.  What's 3 more miles, right?

And happy 100 posts to me!  It's been nearly a year since I started blogging.  I know I don't blog very often, but sometimes less is more. :)

I encourage you to keep going.  There are no 'breaks' in the staying healthy game.  It is for a lifetime.

Stress

If you know me *and even if you don't* you would know that I love my children.  A lot.  Right now, they are ages 9, 5, and 2.  My 9 year old is for the most part, obedient and compliant.  My middle kiddo, while you could say she has 'middle child syndrome', there's more to it than that, but suffice it to say, she pushes the envelope on e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.  My 2 year old is, well, two; she gets into everything and is very impish.

Where am I going with this.  Well, my middle kiddo stresses me out.  A lot.  She is the sweetest child in all seriousness.  She is in all honesty, strong willed and difficult.  I made a taco 'casserole' for dinner tonight.  She is not terribly fond of tacos in general.  But, I thought this particular dish would be a winner for sure.  Not so much.  When she saw me fixing it, she said, "Ewww gross!"  Then she came in for dinner, smelled it, and said, "It smells delicious."  She starts eating, "I hate this dinner!"  A couple of bites in, she wants a drink.  We don't allow drinks until after the main part of the meal is eaten.  She is given two choices.  She doesn't like either one and begins crying/throwing herself.  She is taken to her room.  She comes out.  It's more of the same...choices...doesn't like choices...fit throwing...room.  You get the idea.

My personality definitely clashes with that of my 5 year old.  And while some parents might be able to just let it roll, when you deal with this type of behavior day in and day out, it's exhausting and draining.  My go to comfort?  Food.  I'm just not sure how to stop the cycle.  My sweet hubby's personality is so much more capable in dealing with her personality than mine is.  And, while there is a name for what I'm dealing with in my 5 year old, I'm not so sure 'mom' is accurate for me sometimes.  Something more along the lines of 'crazy', 'nuts' or 'out of my mind' might be more accurate.

I guess one of the first steps in breaking the cycle is recognizing it.  So far, I've done that.  I now need to find something constructive to do instead of eating.