Friday, December 30, 2011

Who I was, who I am, and who I am becoming...

I need to make a huge point of saying a couple of things.  First, you truly have to have a mindset that you are going to do this.  There is no, "I blew it at lunch today, so the heck with the rest of the day."  You have to retrain your brain to think, "I might have slipped at lunch today, but my next snack/meal will be better."  The other part of training your brain is knowing that you will track everything.  It doesn't matter what program you're doing, tracking everything makes all the difference.  This is another one of those "good, bad, ugly" moments.  If you ate 4 fun size Snickers...track it!  I won't lie, I've done that myself.

I also needed to get the "this piece of xyz will make me feel so much better" or "I deserve this because I had a bad day" out of my brain.  Even in the beginning of this journey again, I had a mindset of "I deserve this" after a particularly long day.  Of course, I'm still reminding myself of a quote from a book that I read called "Made to Crave"..."Eat to live, don't live to eat."

Be prepared to weigh and measure your food.  I've also found that a lot of food labels give you a specific measurement (ex: 2/3 cup), but if you look next to it, it gives a weight amount (ex: 30 grams).  There can be a difference between the two.  I found a scale that allows me to switch between ounces, grams, pounds, and kilograms.  It has been a great tool.

One last point.  Baby steps.  Rome wasn't built in a day, you didn't put weight on in a won't lose all of your weight in a day and you won't be able to change all of your bad habits in a day either.  Pick one or two bad habits to change.  Work on those until you've mastered them and move on.  Maybe it's not a bad habit.  Maybe you need to drink more water.  So make a plan to drink 6 glasses of water a day for a week and then increase it.

I was *and often times...still feel like* a fat girl.  Maybe my brain is still stuck in a time when I was teased for being 'big' when I was really a twig.  I was the girl who ate for comfort.  I was the girl who remembered a sad event and would eat to satisfy the hurt.  I figured my husband loved me for who I was, so why would it matter if I was fat or not?  I ate in celebration of milestones, birthdays, anniversaries, but was out of sadness and hurts.

I am now a girl who has learned from those hurts.  I have to put my hurts behind me.  And, because the girls are watching "The Lion King"...I need to practice "Hakuna Matata"..."You gotta put your past behind you."  No worries.  Not in the sense of 'no worries' in what I eat, but that everything has a purpose in life.

I think who I am and who I am becoming are melding together.  I am becoming one heck of a strong momma.  I'm learning new things all the time.  I am a better wife, mother, and friend.  I am learning to love myself more.  I have more energy to do the things that I enjoy.  Most recently, I took all 3 of my girls sledding.  I walked up and down the hill, along with going down the hill in the sled.  The smiles on their faces were worth more than anything in the world!

So...who are you?  Who do you want to become?  How will you get there?  Who can help you?


  1. Love it Kati! I really needed to read this today. I'm starting (again) and it is sooo hard. But you really are an inspiration and make such good points. Thank you. :)

    Amy (ruachi2)

  2. Amy~I'm so glad! Starting again...and again...and again...until it clicks.