14 for '14

Well, I am officially 2 months behind.  I have made zero goals for myself this year.  Why?  I'm not really sure, but some of the reasons could be:  I didn't want to face the truth about where I am physically, I have a lot on my plate, I'm working, life is crazy, taking care of 3 children and the house, did I mention...life is crazy??

With that said...my '14 for '14

1. Find the joy in me.
2. Calm the crazy.
3. Become the independent woman I know that I can be.
4. Start running...again.  Gosh I miss it!  Who would ever have thought those words would cross my lips???
5. Find time to do things that I enjoy.  This is hard for me because every time I have the time, something comes up that requires immediate attention.
6. Hike more.  I have a new hiking buddy and I just bought me some hiking boots.  I'm giddy about getting out there and not worrying about my sneakers being plastered in mud or sinking into mud up to my ankles  :)
7. Find more ways to be frugal.  I thought I was frugal before, but I need new ideas.  Things that I already do include:  homemade dishwasher soap, homemade laundry soap, bake my own bread, hang my clothes outside to dry, base my meals on sales, shop at Savers & Goodwill, uh...the list could go on, but my brain is drawing a blank.  You get the idea though.
8. Be passionate about life.
9. Love deeply.
10. Encourage my girls to enjoy life to the fullest.
11. Drop 1 clothes size.  Let's not be too zealous.
12. Be patient with myself when things don't seem to be going the way I want them to be.
13. Take pictures.  Lots of them.
14. Be a good friend and encouragement to others.

Fairly good list I think.   So, I'm pretending that it's January 1st...and...I'm off!  Let's do this thing!

Starting Again

If you have never been on the journey before or if you're starting again *for the millionth time*, you know how the first few days and weeks can be.  You have to dig in deep and find that inner 'will' that can carry you on to the next day or week.

I have to say, the first day wasn't terrible.  The difference between this go at it and the last is that I am now working.  I can't say that working is anything new because I've worked and shed the pounds before.  The difference this time is that I sit down and eat lunch my kids and then sit down and have snack with them.  Mind you, I'm taking the portion size of a preschooler, but I'm still eating things that I don't typically eat at home.  For instance, a bean and cheese burrito.  Again, not an adult size and not something you'd pick up from say, Taco Bell, but...it's not something I would choose to eat on a regular basis.  And, for as balanced as they say it is, it often doesn't fit my definition of balanced.

Day 2 is going to be spent home with my baby.   Rather than chasing kids around on the playground, I'll be chasing dust bunnies.

As with all things, I need to be patient with myself.  Each day is a new day.  I need to be happy with me and find the peace that moves me from day to day.

It Happened

Ya know, there was a time when I said I'd never go back.  Well...I haven't gone all the way back, but I have gone mostly back.  And...it makes me sad.  So with that said, there have been so many things going on in my life, which I never thought would push me over the edge, but they have.

First, I started working again at the end of September, just before my birthday.  I had already started down a slippery slope of weight gain just prior to that, but it has been a whole new dynamic to life.  And things with the hubby?  Well, let's just say they've been in a downward spiral.  And well, emotionally speaking, I haven't handled it very well. And, I've talked about it before, the vicious cycle continues.

With that said, I'm attempting to hop back on the wagon.  And...I need your help.  I did it for me the last time and I need to do it for me again.  No matter what life throws at me, I need this.  To make me happy.

Hang with me friends.  I'm leaning on all of you!