Life took some unusual turns. Turns that I'm not altogether happy about. My home life got messy. I wasn't able to use the tools that I had learned to use through life's twists and turns. I stopped running. I started working again. And lastly, my 4 year old was suddenly taken from me in May of last year. I lost all sense of what life was truly supposed to be. And the weight? It went back on quite easily. I'm no longer the 'former fat girl', but am the fat girl once again.
There are a lot of what-ifs floating around, but I could 'what-if' myself to death. It won't solve a thing.
I imagine that some people could lose a boatload of weight based on the happenings of my life in the last year plus, but if you have been a regular follower of my story, that's not the case with me. Food is my drug of choice. It is my sedative. It is my comfort. It is my security. When all else fails, there's always food. And darn it...I can't live without it!
I'm still grieving. My heart still hurts. And life is moving on. We made a positive move too. The only home my girls had ever known...the home I'd known for 11 years, is no longer the place we call home. We moved a little over an hour south and we are loving the opportunity to be closer to healthy food stores and better opportunities over all.
I know I have strength because I am living through the death of a child. With that strength, I will come back...slowly. There is joy amongst the sadness and I move forward...one minute at a time.
Showing posts with label hard days. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hard days. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Still Struggling
Friends, my journey is still much like a bowl of spaghetti. It's jumbled and messy, but...it's mine. I had lost some at the restart of my journey, but have since gained it back. Of course, like all circles, it has me back at the beginning. The evil cycle is back.
A friend of mine said, "You are protecting yourself *or trying to* from the hurt, the pain. The weight is your way of trying to keep the hurt from affecting you." I've never looked at it that way before, but it's so true. If I look back over life, my weight was my way of coping. My way of protecting myself. And, even though I had people who loved me, I found great comfort in the extra padding that 'protected' me.
As I made it through the journey before, I wasn't doing it for myself. I thought I was. I was really doing it for everyone else. I was doing it for approval, to be accepted, to be included, and dare I say it...loved, wanted, desired, and cherished by the one person I thought would freely give it to me.
So...forget all of that. I'm throwing it in the nearest trash. I need it for my health. To make me happy. No one else. While I love all of my friends and I appreciate their support...this is for me and me alone. Not for my children, the love in my life, or work. While both the people I love and having work be easier are important reasons, this is for me.
I covet your support and your words of encouragement. And, most importantly...be patient with me. I know I will stumble from time to time, but I need to break this cycle!
- Find resolve.
- Stick to it for a couple of days.
- Emotional break down.
- Eat for comfort.
- Beat self up for eating to comfort.
- Eat some more.
- Weigh self.
- Repeat.
A friend of mine said, "You are protecting yourself *or trying to* from the hurt, the pain. The weight is your way of trying to keep the hurt from affecting you." I've never looked at it that way before, but it's so true. If I look back over life, my weight was my way of coping. My way of protecting myself. And, even though I had people who loved me, I found great comfort in the extra padding that 'protected' me.
As I made it through the journey before, I wasn't doing it for myself. I thought I was. I was really doing it for everyone else. I was doing it for approval, to be accepted, to be included, and dare I say it...loved, wanted, desired, and cherished by the one person I thought would freely give it to me.
So...forget all of that. I'm throwing it in the nearest trash. I need it for my health. To make me happy. No one else. While I love all of my friends and I appreciate their support...this is for me and me alone. Not for my children, the love in my life, or work. While both the people I love and having work be easier are important reasons, this is for me.
I covet your support and your words of encouragement. And, most importantly...be patient with me. I know I will stumble from time to time, but I need to break this cycle!
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
14 for '14
Well, I am officially 2 months behind. I have made zero goals for myself this year. Why? I'm not really sure, but some of the reasons could be: I didn't want to face the truth about where I am physically, I have a lot on my plate, I'm working, life is crazy, taking care of 3 children and the house, did I mention...life is crazy??
With that said...my '14 for '14
With that said...my '14 for '14
- Find the joy in me.
- Calm the crazy.
- Become the independent woman I know that I can be.
- Start running...again. Gosh I miss it! Who would ever have thought those words would cross my lips???
- Find time to do things that I enjoy. This is hard for me because every time I have the time, something comes up that requires immediate attention.
- Hike more. I have a new hiking buddy and I just bought me some hiking boots. I'm giddy about getting out there and not worrying about my sneakers being plastered in mud or sinking into mud up to my ankles :)
- Find more ways to be frugal. I thought I was frugal before, but I need new ideas. Things that I already do include: homemade dishwasher soap, homemade laundry soap, bake my own bread, hang my clothes outside to dry, base my meals on sales, shop at Savers & Goodwill, uh...the list could go on, but my brain is drawing a blank. You get the idea though.
- Be passionate about life.
- Love deeply.
- Encourage my girls to enjoy life to the fullest.
- Drop 1 clothes size. Let's not be too zealous.
- Be patient with myself when things don't seem to be going the way I want them to be.
- Take pictures. Lots of them.
- Be a good friend and encouragement to others.
Starting Again
If you have never been on the journey before or if you're starting again *for the millionth time*, you know how the first few days and weeks can be. You have to dig in deep and find that inner 'will' that can carry you on to the next day or week.
I have to say, the first day wasn't terrible. The difference between this go at it and the last is that I am now working. I can't say that working is anything new because I've worked and shed the pounds before. The difference this time is that I sit down and eat lunch my kids and then sit down and have snack with them. Mind you, I'm taking the portion size of a preschooler, but I'm still eating things that I don't typically eat at home. For instance, a bean and cheese burrito. Again, not an adult size and not something you'd pick up from say, Taco Bell, but...it's not something I would choose to eat on a regular basis. And, for as balanced as they say it is, it often doesn't fit my definition of balanced.
Day 2 is going to be spent home with my baby. Rather than chasing kids around on the playground, I'll be chasing dust bunnies.
As with all things, I need to be patient with myself. Each day is a new day. I need to be happy with me and find the peace that moves me from day to day.
I have to say, the first day wasn't terrible. The difference between this go at it and the last is that I am now working. I can't say that working is anything new because I've worked and shed the pounds before. The difference this time is that I sit down and eat lunch my kids and then sit down and have snack with them. Mind you, I'm taking the portion size of a preschooler, but I'm still eating things that I don't typically eat at home. For instance, a bean and cheese burrito. Again, not an adult size and not something you'd pick up from say, Taco Bell, but...it's not something I would choose to eat on a regular basis. And, for as balanced as they say it is, it often doesn't fit my definition of balanced.
Day 2 is going to be spent home with my baby. Rather than chasing kids around on the playground, I'll be chasing dust bunnies.
As with all things, I need to be patient with myself. Each day is a new day. I need to be happy with me and find the peace that moves me from day to day.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
It Happened
Ya know, there was a time when I said I'd never go back. Well...I haven't gone all the way back, but I have gone mostly back. And...it makes me sad. So with that said, there have been so many things going on in my life, which I never thought would push me over the edge, but they have.
First, I started working again at the end of September, just before my birthday. I had already started down a slippery slope of weight gain just prior to that, but it has been a whole new dynamic to life. And things with the hubby? Well, let's just say they've been in a downward spiral. And well, emotionally speaking, I haven't handled it very well. And, I've talked about it before, the vicious cycle continues.
With that said, I'm attempting to hop back on the wagon. And...I need your help. I did it for me the last time and I need to do it for me again. No matter what life throws at me, I need this. To make me happy.
Hang with me friends. I'm leaning on all of you!
First, I started working again at the end of September, just before my birthday. I had already started down a slippery slope of weight gain just prior to that, but it has been a whole new dynamic to life. And things with the hubby? Well, let's just say they've been in a downward spiral. And well, emotionally speaking, I haven't handled it very well. And, I've talked about it before, the vicious cycle continues.
With that said, I'm attempting to hop back on the wagon. And...I need your help. I did it for me the last time and I need to do it for me again. No matter what life throws at me, I need this. To make me happy.
Hang with me friends. I'm leaning on all of you!
Friday, January 18, 2013
Approval Seeking
Are you the type of person who seeks approval? What I mean is, do you look to other people (family, friends, coworkers) for their approval? Or are you the type of person who doesn't care what other people think? You've done your time of worrying about what others think, and now, you can say without a care, "The heck with them!"
I have often been that approval seeker. I have been the one who looks to her husband, *sometimes* children, parents, grandparents, sister, and friends...almost in the desire for validation. I guess...more often than not, I am the seeker. On the flip side, I am more than willing to give encouragement, a compliment, or become the one who gives validation *because I know all to well that we need a little validity in our lives.*
For quite some time, I thought that I drove people away because of my weight. My excessive size made me feel awkward around others. When I was pregnant, I didn't feel like the cute pregnant girl. I did a lot of hiding or sitting in the corner. I felt as though I couldn't 'keep up' or share the same outlook on life. My life never seemed to mesh with others and the approval that I sought was never found.
Now that I am my leaner self, running 3-4 times a week, fitting in other healthy activities, and eating better, I still often feel as though I drive people away. I feel as though they think that I'm watching them, that I'm watching what they eat or what they put on their plate. To be honest, when I'm at a 'food function', I'm more concerned about what I'm putting on my plate than what others are doing for themselves. And if my girls are with me, I'm also wrangling them.
I'm trying to move myself toward the not worrying about what others think phase of life.
Have you ever successfully transitioned from a seeker to one who is unaffected? If you have, do you have any tips?
If you've never been a seeker, how do you keep from worrying about what others think?
And lastly, if you are a seeker like me, I feel ya. It's a hard place to be!
One last thought, you are who you are. You are loved no matter what. There should be no conditions to the love that others have for you.
Just. Be. You.
I have often been that approval seeker. I have been the one who looks to her husband, *sometimes* children, parents, grandparents, sister, and friends...almost in the desire for validation. I guess...more often than not, I am the seeker. On the flip side, I am more than willing to give encouragement, a compliment, or become the one who gives validation *because I know all to well that we need a little validity in our lives.*
For quite some time, I thought that I drove people away because of my weight. My excessive size made me feel awkward around others. When I was pregnant, I didn't feel like the cute pregnant girl. I did a lot of hiding or sitting in the corner. I felt as though I couldn't 'keep up' or share the same outlook on life. My life never seemed to mesh with others and the approval that I sought was never found.
Now that I am my leaner self, running 3-4 times a week, fitting in other healthy activities, and eating better, I still often feel as though I drive people away. I feel as though they think that I'm watching them, that I'm watching what they eat or what they put on their plate. To be honest, when I'm at a 'food function', I'm more concerned about what I'm putting on my plate than what others are doing for themselves. And if my girls are with me, I'm also wrangling them.
I'm trying to move myself toward the not worrying about what others think phase of life.
Have you ever successfully transitioned from a seeker to one who is unaffected? If you have, do you have any tips?
If you've never been a seeker, how do you keep from worrying about what others think?
And lastly, if you are a seeker like me, I feel ya. It's a hard place to be!
One last thought, you are who you are. You are loved no matter what. There should be no conditions to the love that others have for you.
Just. Be. You.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Obsessed?
Oh great friends in the bloggosphere, I have been told that I am obsessed about my weight loss. I'm not sure that I'm obsessed, but if I don't stay on top of things *logging my points/calories*, checking in here, and making my fitness goals, I feel as though it will all begin to creep back. If by saying, "I don't want to go back there" makes me obsessed. So be it. I don't want to go back there. I am happy where I'm at and I feel more like my peppy self...the one that my beloved hubby married nearly 11 years ago.
By losing the weight, I've been able to do things I'd never thought I would be able to do. I don't post here to 'toot my own horn', but because I'm proud of what I've accomplished. I don't post every day about things like that. I most often post tips about things that have worked for me, things that I'm trying or tweaking. Or I post about things that I tried, but that didn't work for me. Everything that I post about won't always work for everyone. The only thing I suggest to folks on this journey is to be sure that you pick something *diet food moderation program, or the like* that you know you can stick to for the long haul. I say this, because, if you are anything like me, you need to feel like you're not restricted. And if you struggle with food, a lot, then it can't be something you focus on for just 6 months or a year. Make sense?
I don't bug people about their weight. If you ask, I'll share from my experiences. I've never blogged about anyone *aside from my hubby* and myself. Oh and I did blog when I did the 'climb' with my friend.
Another friend of mine said that we all have to be a wee bit obsessed if we're going to make it to goal and stay there. In the beginning of any journey, you are 'obsessed' with figuring out what you need to do, knowing the points values of your favorite foods, etc. Once it's become a habit *of sorts* then it's like old hat. You already know *without looking* what the points value is for your favorite food, you can fly a little more easily from the seat of your pants, and have fun playing with different recipes, etc.
In other news, I have completed 8 weeks of C25K. I just completed week 9 of C210K (couch to 10k). When mornings are going to be tight, I get up early to take to the road. It also allows me to get out on my own without trying to push the jogger stroller. And honestly, 5:30a.m. isn't terrible. It certainly has been quite chilly at that time of the morning. In the last week or so, it's been below freezing. I am making it work because I'd rather run in the cold then during the hottest part of the day too. Determination people. Determination.
It is getting colder and we are approaching winter, what will be your go-toexercise get moving options?
By losing the weight, I've been able to do things I'd never thought I would be able to do. I don't post here to 'toot my own horn', but because I'm proud of what I've accomplished. I don't post every day about things like that. I most often post tips about things that have worked for me, things that I'm trying or tweaking. Or I post about things that I tried, but that didn't work for me. Everything that I post about won't always work for everyone. The only thing I suggest to folks on this journey is to be sure that you pick something *
I don't bug people about their weight. If you ask, I'll share from my experiences. I've never blogged about anyone *aside from my hubby* and myself. Oh and I did blog when I did the 'climb' with my friend.
Another friend of mine said that we all have to be a wee bit obsessed if we're going to make it to goal and stay there. In the beginning of any journey, you are 'obsessed' with figuring out what you need to do, knowing the points values of your favorite foods, etc. Once it's become a habit *of sorts* then it's like old hat. You already know *without looking* what the points value is for your favorite food, you can fly a little more easily from the seat of your pants, and have fun playing with different recipes, etc.
In other news, I have completed 8 weeks of C25K. I just completed week 9 of C210K (couch to 10k). When mornings are going to be tight, I get up early to take to the road. It also allows me to get out on my own without trying to push the jogger stroller. And honestly, 5:30a.m. isn't terrible. It certainly has been quite chilly at that time of the morning. In the last week or so, it's been below freezing. I am making it work because I'd rather run in the cold then during the hottest part of the day too. Determination people. Determination.
It is getting colder and we are approaching winter, what will be your go-to
Friday, October 5, 2012
Comfort Food and Sickness
Bleh. It's hit. The sinus gunk that I've been desperately avoiding has invaded my head. It makes it difficult to think or function. As a mother of three, with two that happen to be more mischievous than the other, this can prove to be difficult. The neti pot and I have been friends for a couple of days already because I could feel it coming on.
The hard part? I want...comfort food! The particular kind of comfort food happens to be carbs. What are most carbs made of? Some type of gluten. It's been a hard day.
I think what will make me happy is some kind of soup. With that in mind, I'll pull out my chicken stock that's in the freezer, pull some mixed veggies, toss in some rice, some seasonings *bay leaves, salt pepper, onion flakes*, and cook it up. I am currently baking a loaf of gluten free corn-like bread, but the recipe didn't seem right, so I tweaked it. We'll see how that turns out. And, in lieu of the lack of carbalicious type food stuffs in my house, I've eaten two additional pieces of dark chocolate *more than what I normally have* and a bowl of gluten free cereal with almond milk on it *I'm back to cutting out cow's milk on my cereal again*. I guess it could be worse, right?
The girls are due to have pancakes tonight, but I think *this* momma will be eating soup and maybe a crust of bread.
Do you ever notice that when you don't feel good, nothing seems to satisfy you? Why is that? Is it some subconscious thought process along the lines of, "Feed the ______ "*fill in the blank-cold, flu, sinus infection, etc*? Maybe you also feed the: pain, sadness, stress, frustration... You get the picture now, don't you?
So, how can you cheat without really cheating? I say tweak what you can...count the rest. I'd love to sit and eat pancakes until my heart's content, but that won't solve much and I know it's not as healthy as my soup *which will also help with my sinuses*. The chocolate and cereal I had today? Doesn't help my sinuses, but it does help to keep me from going hog wild. And, taking the time to write down my feelings and what I've been dealing with today...also helps to stop me in my tracks.
If you're sick, use whatever brain power you might still hold on to *because believe me I'm lacking a lot right now* and make some better choices. If you can't make soup...go buy yourself some! Then, resume your couch warming and feel better soon!
The hard part? I want...comfort food! The particular kind of comfort food happens to be carbs. What are most carbs made of? Some type of gluten. It's been a hard day.
I think what will make me happy is some kind of soup. With that in mind, I'll pull out my chicken stock that's in the freezer, pull some mixed veggies, toss in some rice, some seasonings *bay leaves, salt pepper, onion flakes*, and cook it up. I am currently baking a loaf of gluten free corn-like bread, but the recipe didn't seem right, so I tweaked it. We'll see how that turns out. And, in lieu of the lack of carbalicious type food stuffs in my house, I've eaten two additional pieces of dark chocolate *more than what I normally have* and a bowl of gluten free cereal with almond milk on it *I'm back to cutting out cow's milk on my cereal again*. I guess it could be worse, right?
The girls are due to have pancakes tonight, but I think *this* momma will be eating soup and maybe a crust of bread.
Do you ever notice that when you don't feel good, nothing seems to satisfy you? Why is that? Is it some subconscious thought process along the lines of, "Feed the ______ "*fill in the blank-cold, flu, sinus infection, etc*? Maybe you also feed the: pain, sadness, stress, frustration... You get the picture now, don't you?
So, how can you cheat without really cheating? I say tweak what you can...count the rest. I'd love to sit and eat pancakes until my heart's content, but that won't solve much and I know it's not as healthy as my soup *which will also help with my sinuses*. The chocolate and cereal I had today? Doesn't help my sinuses, but it does help to keep me from going hog wild. And, taking the time to write down my feelings and what I've been dealing with today...also helps to stop me in my tracks.
If you're sick, use whatever brain power you might still hold on to *because believe me I'm lacking a lot right now* and make some better choices. If you can't make soup...go buy yourself some! Then, resume your couch warming and feel better soon!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
The balance game...
I'm not one for trying to keep things in the middle. I'd rather have it one way than the other. Right now I'm struggling with either wanting to eat everything in sight or...feeling sick to my stomach. My emotions are definitely playing a role in this 'game'. I dislike this game. When I first began my journey, the instant reaction to feeling overwhelmed was to reach for food. I still have that reaction, but my tummy also revolts.
I guess being like this makes me a typical woman. For illustration purposes, a lot of women lose weight before they get married. They are stressed and busy. It just happens. This woman gained it. I reached for the food that comforts me when things go wrong. This instance is no different and it makes me typical in that when I reach for food in this state, I want it to be carb-ish and satisfying. Carrots, lettuce, or any other green like vegetable, aren't my first choice. They should be, but they aren't. What can I say? I'm still learning and growing in my journey.
I am also struggling with my morning time. I have been getting up between 5 and 5:30 to get my walk in *on days that I can*. This could also be a prime time for me to work on the study I just bought. I need the walk, but I also need the study. So, I've been choosing the walk. I'm still not convinced that it has been the right choice. My body needs the exercise *it even craves it now*, but my soul needs to be fed too. It's such a fine balance in this area too and I wish I had the right answer.
I know it seems like I have my 'stuff' together, but mostly...I don't. My life is not perfect. My food choices aren't always stellar, my childrenare rarely well behaved aren't always well behaved, my house isn't immaculate, I always often forget things, I verbalize my thoughts better on paper *or blog* than out of my mouth, I generally have good intentions, and I often feel like my feelings/opinions don't matter/can't be voiced. While these things aren't always visible to the naked eye, they are who I am. If I seem quiet...I'm contemplating, hurt, and/or sad. If I seem talkative and outgoing...I'm feeling good and am ready to take on the world.
So, I'm continuing to balance or seek to find balance.
I guess being like this makes me a typical woman. For illustration purposes, a lot of women lose weight before they get married. They are stressed and busy. It just happens. This woman gained it. I reached for the food that comforts me when things go wrong. This instance is no different and it makes me typical in that when I reach for food in this state, I want it to be carb-ish and satisfying. Carrots, lettuce, or any other green like vegetable, aren't my first choice. They should be, but they aren't. What can I say? I'm still learning and growing in my journey.
I am also struggling with my morning time. I have been getting up between 5 and 5:30 to get my walk in *on days that I can*. This could also be a prime time for me to work on the study I just bought. I need the walk, but I also need the study. So, I've been choosing the walk. I'm still not convinced that it has been the right choice. My body needs the exercise *it even craves it now*, but my soul needs to be fed too. It's such a fine balance in this area too and I wish I had the right answer.
I know it seems like I have my 'stuff' together, but mostly...I don't. My life is not perfect. My food choices aren't always stellar, my children
So, I'm continuing to balance or seek to find balance.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Fear
So, I took a walk today. It's beautiful out. I'm rocking the tunes. And as I turn to complete my first mile, and I'm fighting against past memories in my brain...I start to cry. I'm sure I was quite a sight to see. Crying and sweaty, but walking it out. The tears? A walking revelation. It seems as though I've been getting those a lot lately. Moving on.
The revelation? I have a fear of gaining weight again. A fear of what other people see me as. I'm not sure if this is an unhealthy fear or a healthy one.
I also learned another important tidbit. I wear my heart rate monitor when I do most of my exercises. I just found out that a good portion of my exercises are considered to be in the 'vigorous' category. If I base my numbers on this site, then my max HR is 186, my 50% of HR would be 93, 75% would be 130, and 85% would be 158. My vigorous range is between 130 and 158. The moderate range would be between 93 and 130. Generally speaking, my HR is over 140 when I walk and it's been logged as high as 157. This is very helpful information for me.
I'm feeling some better today. It is certainly a process.
I'm looking forward to dinner. Pork tenderloin, quinoa, fresh cauliflower, and a salad. So, I guess if we're going to eat it, I better make it.
The revelation? I have a fear of gaining weight again. A fear of what other people see me as. I'm not sure if this is an unhealthy fear or a healthy one.
I also learned another important tidbit. I wear my heart rate monitor when I do most of my exercises. I just found out that a good portion of my exercises are considered to be in the 'vigorous' category. If I base my numbers on this site, then my max HR is 186, my 50% of HR would be 93, 75% would be 130, and 85% would be 158. My vigorous range is between 130 and 158. The moderate range would be between 93 and 130. Generally speaking, my HR is over 140 when I walk and it's been logged as high as 157. This is very helpful information for me.
I'm feeling some better today. It is certainly a process.
I'm looking forward to dinner. Pork tenderloin, quinoa, fresh cauliflower, and a salad. So, I guess if we're going to eat it, I better make it.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Still Here
No worries. I haven't dropped off the face of the planet. I'm in a weird kind of funk. As my home healthcare nurse called it...punky. I'm in a punky mood. I'm just off. Mood is off. Emotions are off. I had my temporary crown put on yesterday and it's too 'high', but I didn't realize it until after my mouth wasn't numb any more. So...I'm dealing with it for 2 weeks. Bah!
On my way home from said appointment, I heard this song:
I want you all to focus on the words.
Here is a link to the lyrics. I hope someone loves you in a way similar to this. Someone who loves you "just the way you are."
I've had this song on my heart since yesterday. Know that you are loved, that you are valued, that you are cherished, and that someone cares about you!
On my way home from said appointment, I heard this song:
I want you all to focus on the words.
Here is a link to the lyrics. I hope someone loves you in a way similar to this. Someone who loves you "just the way you are."
I've had this song on my heart since yesterday. Know that you are loved, that you are valued, that you are cherished, and that someone cares about you!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Normal
I've made it past Wednesday. And? I feel like my 'normal' self again. My cravings have subsided and life can go on as normal. Whatever normal is. I seriously become a wicked witch and I'm sure my family doesn't appreciate it. At. All. To top of my witchiness, my poor hubby has been battling an ear & sinus infection, along with the beginning stages of pneumonia. Yuck! Thankfully, he's kept the nasties to himself.
As for food, like I said, once I got to Wednesday, I was no longer craving things that I shouldn't have and was able to feel satisfied on what I have been eating *more protein and less 'sugary' stuff*. I did do Slim in 6 yesterday, but spent today going through our shed. I know what you're thinking, "But Kati, that isn't exercise!" Oh, believe me, it was! I picked up and moved plastic tubs full of clothes. I sorted all of the clothes *my old clothes that need to be gone*, baby clothes *sizes 3mo-24mo*, and big kid clothes. I brought a few things in for my middle kiddo to wear and a few things for the littlest one. After I got it all put into bags, I had to put it back into the shed. I'm hoping that I can bring it in the house, lay it on the floor, and take pictures. All of this before the alleged 10-24 inches of snow we're due to get between Saturday and Monday. Boo!! My entire body aches from leaning over tubs and sorting. I did find a pair of fun pants that I had tucked away. And yes, they fit.
I'm looking forward now to Saturday. Yep, it's St. Patrick's Day. Yes, I have some Irish in my background. And yes, we're having corn beef and cabbage. Yum! When I saw it go on sale, I just had a hankerin' for it. So...we're having some. Sunday is my littlest one's birthday. A whole big 2! I can't believe it! And honestly, I'm still unsure of what I'm doing for her birthday cake. I have ideas, I just haven't come to any solid decisions.
My fun and exciting non-food related news? I bought our new washer and dryer today. We'll get those delivered this next Wednesday. I also bought my tickets to fly home *alone* today. Yippee! That's another bonus to having lost weight...you don't have to ask for the seat belt extender on a plane. Sad, but true.
Tomorrow is my weigh-in day and I'd imagine I'll show at least a slight gain. All will be well and it's all part of learning my new 'normal.' I hope everyone is hanging in there. Take each day as it comes. That's all we can do.
As for food, like I said, once I got to Wednesday, I was no longer craving things that I shouldn't have and was able to feel satisfied on what I have been eating *more protein and less 'sugary' stuff*. I did do Slim in 6 yesterday, but spent today going through our shed. I know what you're thinking, "But Kati, that isn't exercise!" Oh, believe me, it was! I picked up and moved plastic tubs full of clothes. I sorted all of the clothes *my old clothes that need to be gone*, baby clothes *sizes 3mo-24mo*, and big kid clothes. I brought a few things in for my middle kiddo to wear and a few things for the littlest one. After I got it all put into bags, I had to put it back into the shed. I'm hoping that I can bring it in the house, lay it on the floor, and take pictures. All of this before the alleged 10-24 inches of snow we're due to get between Saturday and Monday. Boo!! My entire body aches from leaning over tubs and sorting. I did find a pair of fun pants that I had tucked away. And yes, they fit.
I'm looking forward now to Saturday. Yep, it's St. Patrick's Day. Yes, I have some Irish in my background. And yes, we're having corn beef and cabbage. Yum! When I saw it go on sale, I just had a hankerin' for it. So...we're having some. Sunday is my littlest one's birthday. A whole big 2! I can't believe it! And honestly, I'm still unsure of what I'm doing for her birthday cake. I have ideas, I just haven't come to any solid decisions.
My fun and exciting non-food related news? I bought our new washer and dryer today. We'll get those delivered this next Wednesday. I also bought my tickets to fly home *alone* today. Yippee! That's another bonus to having lost weight...you don't have to ask for the seat belt extender on a plane. Sad, but true.
Tomorrow is my weigh-in day and I'd imagine I'll show at least a slight gain. All will be well and it's all part of learning my new 'normal.' I hope everyone is hanging in there. Take each day as it comes. That's all we can do.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Day 7
I know women were created to be hormonal and stuff, but seriously? There's days when it totally gets old and affects every other fiber of our being. It's one thing that I struggle with when it comes to food. And. It's. A. Bear. In all seriousness. Hormones make me feel more hungry than I really am and want things like a bunch of yucky processedwhitefloursugarytastythings and I really wish that I didn't.
Today had gone swimmingly well. I made this delicious chicken salad for lunch today (carrots and celery and raisins and seasonings and ooh a bunch of tasty stuff). I served it up on romaine and was quite the happy camper. I took the girls into 'town' and ran our few errands before their dental appointment. By the time we were done, I couldn't wait to get home and make our dinner.
My one big mistake? The Coke Zero that I drank on the way home. I think that it paired up with my hormone crazed body and decided that after our yummy dinner, I needed to have a few additional items. So...I've counted them and I'm moving on to tomorrow.
Is it Wednesday yet?
So...I'll ask again...do you all have a topic in mind for me to blog about? Or do I need to search the webs for something good?
Also...there is this particular holiday that occurs here pretty soon and it involves the stores carrying massive amounts of chocolateyevilgoodness. How will you avoid?
Today had gone swimmingly well. I made this delicious chicken salad for lunch today (carrots and celery and raisins and seasonings and ooh a bunch of tasty stuff). I served it up on romaine and was quite the happy camper. I took the girls into 'town' and ran our few errands before their dental appointment. By the time we were done, I couldn't wait to get home and make our dinner.
My one big mistake? The Coke Zero that I drank on the way home. I think that it paired up with my hormone crazed body and decided that after our yummy dinner, I needed to have a few additional items. So...I've counted them and I'm moving on to tomorrow.
Is it Wednesday yet?
So...I'll ask again...do you all have a topic in mind for me to blog about? Or do I need to search the webs for something good?
Also...there is this particular holiday that occurs here pretty soon and it involves the stores carrying massive amounts of chocolateyevilgoodness. How will you avoid?
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Day 3--Ugh!
Oh boy...trigger-city!! I've decided that, for as much as I love my girls, they are one of my triggers for my sugar addiction. We all have bad days, but I'm realizing that when we have those bad days, all I want to do is eat comfort foods (ie: simple carbohydrates, chocolate, salty stuff, etc). I'm so glad that I'm beginning to realize this so that I can start to nip it in the bud.
My choices to nip it? Some 78% dark chocolate, a Coke Zero, and 1 1/2 cups of my soup that I made yesterday. Surprisingly, I feel full and satisfied with no desire to run back to the kitchen for more. I'm also drinking my water. How much water have you had today?
I tried a new recipe for breakfast. This morning I had an omelet of spinach, onion and 2 laughing cow cheese wedges. It was very tasty. I also had my Kamut Puffs. We are having a roast chicken for dinner tonight. I still haven't decided on sides to put with it, but I'll get that figured out before I start making dinner.
Ooh! I just found a recipe for rolls! Yippee! They're just 2P+ per roll. Here's the recipe. I'll let you know how they turn out. We'll probably have broccoli and a salad to round things out.
Off to make rolls!
My choices to nip it? Some 78% dark chocolate, a Coke Zero, and 1 1/2 cups of my soup that I made yesterday. Surprisingly, I feel full and satisfied with no desire to run back to the kitchen for more. I'm also drinking my water. How much water have you had today?
I tried a new recipe for breakfast. This morning I had an omelet of spinach, onion and 2 laughing cow cheese wedges. It was very tasty. I also had my Kamut Puffs. We are having a roast chicken for dinner tonight. I still haven't decided on sides to put with it, but I'll get that figured out before I start making dinner.
Ooh! I just found a recipe for rolls! Yippee! They're just 2P+ per roll. Here's the recipe. I'll let you know how they turn out. We'll probably have broccoli and a salad to round things out.
Off to make rolls!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Dental Day
First, let me say, the lucky winner of deliciousness from post #50 is my dear friend Sarah. Thank you to all of you who commented on my post. It means a lot to me. To the rest of you...maybe next time.
So, today was my dental day. Oh how I loathe going to have work done on my teeth. This is probably directly related to having the worst experience of my life last year at my regular dentist whom I will never see again even if he were the last dentist on the planet. It was a bad enough experience that I take valium in order to go in. I'm sure I'm not as bad as some people, but when one suffers from panic attacks just thinking about having to go in? Yeah, it's bad.
I ate lunch before I went because I knew that eating would be difficult tonight. I had my regular salad. I took my valium and was thankful that a friend was able to drive me in so that hubby could stay home with our girls. When I got there, I figured I'd have a few minutes before being taken back, but nope! As I was taking my coat off, they called me back. Since I've been to this office before, the good doc knew that I have a hard time with this stuff. He 'hit' me three times on the outside of my tooth and once in the roof of my mouth on the inside of my tooth *that's the one that hurt the most!* My small mouth *albeit a big voice* is difficult for having work done. The hinge of my jaw was quite sore off and on throughout. Thankfully, I don't have to go back, but should I have swelling, I'll need to switch antibiotics. Boo!
After getting home, I felt tired and hungry. What kind of weird person has some semi-serious work done in there mouth and later has the munchies? Me. That's who! I can't even begin to understand that tonight. The only exercise I really got in today was to do my fab abs. It's been about 7 hours since I got numbed, and I am finally not numb any more. I certainly wouldn't have wanted it any other way!
I'm looking forward to a more normal day tomorrow. Off to brush my teeth and go to bed. I'm still very tired.
So, today was my dental day. Oh how I loathe going to have work done on my teeth. This is probably directly related to having the worst experience of my life last year at my regular dentist whom I will never see again even if he were the last dentist on the planet. It was a bad enough experience that I take valium in order to go in. I'm sure I'm not as bad as some people, but when one suffers from panic attacks just thinking about having to go in? Yeah, it's bad.
I ate lunch before I went because I knew that eating would be difficult tonight. I had my regular salad. I took my valium and was thankful that a friend was able to drive me in so that hubby could stay home with our girls. When I got there, I figured I'd have a few minutes before being taken back, but nope! As I was taking my coat off, they called me back. Since I've been to this office before, the good doc knew that I have a hard time with this stuff. He 'hit' me three times on the outside of my tooth and once in the roof of my mouth on the inside of my tooth *that's the one that hurt the most!* My small mouth *albeit a big voice* is difficult for having work done. The hinge of my jaw was quite sore off and on throughout. Thankfully, I don't have to go back, but should I have swelling, I'll need to switch antibiotics. Boo!
After getting home, I felt tired and hungry. What kind of weird person has some semi-serious work done in there mouth and later has the munchies? Me. That's who! I can't even begin to understand that tonight. The only exercise I really got in today was to do my fab abs. It's been about 7 hours since I got numbed, and I am finally not numb any more. I certainly wouldn't have wanted it any other way!
I'm looking forward to a more normal day tomorrow. Off to brush my teeth and go to bed. I'm still very tired.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Bah!
That's about all I have to say about that. And today. And stuff in general.
The old adage of feeding the __________ *you fill in the blank....cold, illness, etc* doesn't need to be true. Nor do I think that it was ever really true. If you have a cold or sore throat, I think you can easily remain on plan by eating soup for lunch/dinner. I still have turkey and or chicken stock in my freezer that I can easily thaw to make a hearty soup. I usually use a bunch of frozen veggies and voila...you've got soup. Sometimes I throw in some dry, minced onion with a can of diced tomatoes. This also makes for yummy goodness.
Another thing that will keep your eating in check? Having excruciating pain in your mouth. Yup. That'll do it. Every. Time. So yeah, I've got some wicked pain in my mouth. And yes, I went to the dentist today. And no, I didn't like what he said. He gave me an antibiotic and some high powered pain meds both of which make my stomach hurt. I'm also leaning towards the soft foods.
I'm not sure how I feel about my teeth right now. Part of me thinks that I may still be having problems with my sugars *the prediabetes stuff*. The other part of me thinks that it could be residual from me having hyperemesis when I was pregnant with #3 *you can read about and see what I'm talking about in regards to hyperemesis here and here.* I also got my blood drawn today per my doctor's orders.
Hopefully I'll have some answers. I am so over having tooth troubles, amongst other things. I did try to exercise today, but only made it about half way through before I thought I might toss my cookies *most likely because of the aforementioned drugs.*
So, these things to say...don't stuff your face to satisfy your sickness. It doesn't get you anywhere and can make things worse. If you can't make your own soup, beg someone to make some for you. If you lived closer, I'd make it for you. Hang in there and don't give up!
The old adage of feeding the __________ *you fill in the blank....cold, illness, etc* doesn't need to be true. Nor do I think that it was ever really true. If you have a cold or sore throat, I think you can easily remain on plan by eating soup for lunch/dinner. I still have turkey and or chicken stock in my freezer that I can easily thaw to make a hearty soup. I usually use a bunch of frozen veggies and voila...you've got soup. Sometimes I throw in some dry, minced onion with a can of diced tomatoes. This also makes for yummy goodness.
Another thing that will keep your eating in check? Having excruciating pain in your mouth. Yup. That'll do it. Every. Time. So yeah, I've got some wicked pain in my mouth. And yes, I went to the dentist today. And no, I didn't like what he said. He gave me an antibiotic and some high powered pain meds both of which make my stomach hurt. I'm also leaning towards the soft foods.
I'm not sure how I feel about my teeth right now. Part of me thinks that I may still be having problems with my sugars *the prediabetes stuff*. The other part of me thinks that it could be residual from me having hyperemesis when I was pregnant with #3 *you can read about and see what I'm talking about in regards to hyperemesis here and here.* I also got my blood drawn today per my doctor's orders.
Hopefully I'll have some answers. I am so over having tooth troubles, amongst other things. I did try to exercise today, but only made it about half way through before I thought I might toss my cookies *most likely because of the aforementioned drugs.*
So, these things to say...don't stuff your face to satisfy your sickness. It doesn't get you anywhere and can make things worse. If you can't make your own soup, beg someone to make some for you. If you lived closer, I'd make it for you. Hang in there and don't give up!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Hi, my name is Kati...
...and I'm a foodaholic *in particular, the carbish variety*.
Some people have addictions to drugs, alcohol, facebook, and probably a bunch of other things. But me, I have an addiction to food. I just looked up addiction on dictionary.com and got this definition *which seems appropriate*: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
Enslaved. Yep. That's it.
Unlike people who are addicted to drugs or alcohol, one can't give up food. Food helps to sustain you and makes your body work. Without it, one would be considered anorexic *at least, here in this country.*
I talked about how I was 'molded' in this post back when I began this blog. I've always had this love/hate relationship with food *although as I got older, it was more of a love thing.* When I was in high school, I ate very little *I think if I ate such a small amount now, I'd probably starve!!* My lunch usually consisted of a half sandwich, half a piece of fruit *like a peach*, maybe a cookie, and maybe 8oz of milk. I don't remember whether I ate breakfast or not *I'm sure my mom might remember.*
Food has always been and will always be, a crutch. Again, I can't give it up entirely, but I can't live without it. I'd imagine that many of you who read this blog are in the same place. Maybe you've struggled with anorexia or bulimia. Maybe you still do. There is help out there. For me, saying it 'out loud' makes it more real. Consider yourselves my therapy. When my heart aches because I'm hurt, someone is whispering, "Feed it. Feed the hurt." *Think of the cartoons where the little 'devil' guy pops up on the character's shoulder. Yeah that..for me.* Then my brain says, "You really don't want to do that because you'll be back where you started."
Being a foodaholic is tough. There is no cure. It will be a life long battle. But, each day that you are triumphant, is a step closer to victory.
Some people have addictions to drugs, alcohol, facebook, and probably a bunch of other things. But me, I have an addiction to food. I just looked up addiction on dictionary.com and got this definition *which seems appropriate*: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
Enslaved. Yep. That's it.
Unlike people who are addicted to drugs or alcohol, one can't give up food. Food helps to sustain you and makes your body work. Without it, one would be considered anorexic *at least, here in this country.*
I talked about how I was 'molded' in this post back when I began this blog. I've always had this love/hate relationship with food *although as I got older, it was more of a love thing.* When I was in high school, I ate very little *I think if I ate such a small amount now, I'd probably starve!!* My lunch usually consisted of a half sandwich, half a piece of fruit *like a peach*, maybe a cookie, and maybe 8oz of milk. I don't remember whether I ate breakfast or not *I'm sure my mom might remember.*
Food has always been and will always be, a crutch. Again, I can't give it up entirely, but I can't live without it. I'd imagine that many of you who read this blog are in the same place. Maybe you've struggled with anorexia or bulimia. Maybe you still do. There is help out there. For me, saying it 'out loud' makes it more real. Consider yourselves my therapy. When my heart aches because I'm hurt, someone is whispering, "Feed it. Feed the hurt." *Think of the cartoons where the little 'devil' guy pops up on the character's shoulder. Yeah that..for me.* Then my brain says, "You really don't want to do that because you'll be back where you started."
Being a foodaholic is tough. There is no cure. It will be a life long battle. But, each day that you are triumphant, is a step closer to victory.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Sometimes your best laid plans...
....can be derailed. Ever since we got home this week, I've struggled. I'm not sure why. Some of it has to do with the fact that I'm at home, not as busy as we were while we were gone. Another portion could be because I haven't had the chance to get my exercise in *I did get a walk in and I've been doing the abs challenge*, but it's not the same.
So my plan tonight was to have 1/4c of the Spinach Dip with 5 crackers, 3tbsp of light ranch dip and veggies, a serving of the sausage and lentil stew, and possibly some dessert. I ended up with far more of the spinach than I'd intended, I had garlic bread with my stew, and then turned around and had pound cake with strawberries. It is not one of my most outstanding moments, but I guess we're all human.
The first thing that I did when we got home *aside from getting the girls ready for bed* was to log my points. Let me tell you, even though I cut the cake into 10 slices, it was still 5 *yes FIVE* P+ per slice. Ouch!
I'm sitting here trying to figure out how I went from having a fantastic week away, watching everything that I ate, staying on plan in one of the most difficult situations ever, to coming home and having a super hard week. What's up with that? I was telling hubby that tonight didn't go as I had planned and that I was frustrated with myself, and he told me not to let it get to my head. He also told me that I need to remember not to let it affect the rest of my week. Isn't that what I tell people all the time? Maybe I'm rubbing off on him or he's rubbing off on me. Either way, I needed him to say that to me.
Even though I logged everything tonight, it can be a very slippery slope. I need to be diligent tomorrow. I need to get my exercise in. I need to pay attention to how much water I'm drinking *again*.
At the end of the day, I'm still me. And...I am only human.
So my plan tonight was to have 1/4c of the Spinach Dip with 5 crackers, 3tbsp of light ranch dip and veggies, a serving of the sausage and lentil stew, and possibly some dessert. I ended up with far more of the spinach than I'd intended, I had garlic bread with my stew, and then turned around and had pound cake with strawberries. It is not one of my most outstanding moments, but I guess we're all human.
The first thing that I did when we got home *aside from getting the girls ready for bed* was to log my points. Let me tell you, even though I cut the cake into 10 slices, it was still 5 *yes FIVE* P+ per slice. Ouch!
I'm sitting here trying to figure out how I went from having a fantastic week away, watching everything that I ate, staying on plan in one of the most difficult situations ever, to coming home and having a super hard week. What's up with that? I was telling hubby that tonight didn't go as I had planned and that I was frustrated with myself, and he told me not to let it get to my head. He also told me that I need to remember not to let it affect the rest of my week. Isn't that what I tell people all the time? Maybe I'm rubbing off on him or he's rubbing off on me. Either way, I needed him to say that to me.
Even though I logged everything tonight, it can be a very slippery slope. I need to be diligent tomorrow. I need to get my exercise in. I need to pay attention to how much water I'm drinking *again*.
At the end of the day, I'm still me. And...I am only human.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Surviving a trip while trying to eat healthy!
It can be done people. It can be done!! I just survived 6 days of a 'celebration' and remained OP *on plan*! It was hard and frustrating, but deeply satisfying knowing that I was making the best choices that I could.
Tuesday was our travel day. I packed protein bars to help with breakfasts and while they weren't terribly good on the carb count, they were packed with protein. I had one of those for breakfast and lunch that day *I couldn't bring myself to pay the prices for something on the plane.* When we arrived at the hotel, we were on our own for dinner that night. I was thankful that the food court at the hotel had fresh salads, so I snagged the chef salad *picking some of the meat and cheese off* and scored a light ranch dressing.
Wednesday, they served a brunch, but it wasn't scheduled to be served until 10:30. So, I had another bar. At the brunch, I chose scrambled 'eggs', fresh fruit, and topped my eggs with some fresh *didn't look bottled* salsa. We had our free time and we then went to our session at 4:30, but rather than have a session, they took all 4,000+ of us to Sea World *SURPRISE*!! Talk about amazing *and almost dreamlike.* They had different kinds of buffets set up all over Sea World for a variety of taste pallets. I ended up with some BBQ chicken, 1/4c to 1/2c of potato salad, some fresh fruit, and a salad *dipping my fork in the dressing because they didn't have any light dressings.* I opted out of dessert.
Thursday, we were on our own for breakfast. I had a latte and a bar for breakfast. Lunch was salad *yippee* and a couple of different choices of meat *I chose chicken*. They also had rice, but I didn't have any of that. I mainly had the salad. Dinner that night was *like* a typical camp meal: Asian noodles *just veggies or veggies and chicken*, chicken bratwurst *with HUGE rolls*, pizza, hummus with pita bread or breadsticks, mini apple pies and brownies for dessert. What I snagged from that: noodles with veggies, one bratwurst *no roll*, some hummus with a few pita wedges, 1 breadstick, and a mini apple pie. Can you say, "Carb overload??" There wasn't a single vegetable there that night!!
My remaining breakfasts *Friday/Saturday/Sunday* were all a skinny latte, my protein bar, and a banana. Friday's lunch was in Epcot. I ended up with a Caesar salad *I could feel my arteries clogging...ha!* I grabbed a 'side' salad that night with light ranch for dinner. It had a mess of fresh veggies on it and it was pretty tasty. Lunch on Saturday was a bag lunch. My choices were: turkey sandwich on a HUGE roll, chicken salad wrap, sun chips, potato chips, pretzels, apple/banana, and a cookie. My choice: chicken salad wrap, sun chips, an apple, and a cookie for a treat. The chips ended up being a snack later in the day. Our dinner Saturday, was a sit down meal. We were served a salad *yippee*, our main entree was a small *probably 2oz piece* of fish, a 2-3oz piece of beef something or other, about 1/4c of mashed potatoes, and some cooked rainbow carrots *yum!* I had the mousse that was there for dessert, but wished that I hadn't after I found out how many points it was!! Yikes!!
Yesterday, I found a place that made a salad at the airport. Pricey, but worth every penny to me. I had it made with mixed greens, onion, black olives, tomatoes, cucumber, and chicken. It was served with a whole wheat roll and I snagged some fat free raspberry vinaigrette dressing. Dinner? Was another bar.
While I did okay, I felt like our provided meals were lacking in the vegetable department. My body didn't like being 'deprived' of veggies.
Regardless of the lack of veggies, I did get plenty of exercise in. Hubby and I took the stairs *98% of the time. There were a couple of nights where I was just plain tired.* Our room was on the 8th floor *I was never so thankful to NOT be on the 16th floor!* And I didn't really start to get winded until the 6th floor. I also went to the fitness center 3 times while we were there. Our room was about 10 minutes from the ballroom where our seminars took place *Yes...in the same hotel! Crazy, no?* I also counted all of the walking we did at Sea World, Epcot, and Hollywood Studios.
The trip was wonderful and relaxing. I loved seeing folks that I haven't seen in 4 years. This was a valuable lesson to me. I know now that I can manage no matter the circumstances. It just takes a little planning, some perseverance, and some will power. Anything is possible! Keep at it everyone and I know that you will succeed!
Tuesday was our travel day. I packed protein bars to help with breakfasts and while they weren't terribly good on the carb count, they were packed with protein. I had one of those for breakfast and lunch that day *I couldn't bring myself to pay the prices for something on the plane.* When we arrived at the hotel, we were on our own for dinner that night. I was thankful that the food court at the hotel had fresh salads, so I snagged the chef salad *picking some of the meat and cheese off* and scored a light ranch dressing.
Wednesday, they served a brunch, but it wasn't scheduled to be served until 10:30. So, I had another bar. At the brunch, I chose scrambled 'eggs', fresh fruit, and topped my eggs with some fresh *didn't look bottled* salsa. We had our free time and we then went to our session at 4:30, but rather than have a session, they took all 4,000+ of us to Sea World *SURPRISE*!! Talk about amazing *and almost dreamlike.* They had different kinds of buffets set up all over Sea World for a variety of taste pallets. I ended up with some BBQ chicken, 1/4c to 1/2c of potato salad, some fresh fruit, and a salad *dipping my fork in the dressing because they didn't have any light dressings.* I opted out of dessert.
Thursday, we were on our own for breakfast. I had a latte and a bar for breakfast. Lunch was salad *yippee* and a couple of different choices of meat *I chose chicken*. They also had rice, but I didn't have any of that. I mainly had the salad. Dinner that night was *like* a typical camp meal: Asian noodles *just veggies or veggies and chicken*, chicken bratwurst *with HUGE rolls*, pizza, hummus with pita bread or breadsticks, mini apple pies and brownies for dessert. What I snagged from that: noodles with veggies, one bratwurst *no roll*, some hummus with a few pita wedges, 1 breadstick, and a mini apple pie. Can you say, "Carb overload??" There wasn't a single vegetable there that night!!
My remaining breakfasts *Friday/Saturday/Sunday* were all a skinny latte, my protein bar, and a banana. Friday's lunch was in Epcot. I ended up with a Caesar salad *I could feel my arteries clogging...ha!* I grabbed a 'side' salad that night with light ranch for dinner. It had a mess of fresh veggies on it and it was pretty tasty. Lunch on Saturday was a bag lunch. My choices were: turkey sandwich on a HUGE roll, chicken salad wrap, sun chips, potato chips, pretzels, apple/banana, and a cookie. My choice: chicken salad wrap, sun chips, an apple, and a cookie for a treat. The chips ended up being a snack later in the day. Our dinner Saturday, was a sit down meal. We were served a salad *yippee*, our main entree was a small *probably 2oz piece* of fish, a 2-3oz piece of beef something or other, about 1/4c of mashed potatoes, and some cooked rainbow carrots *yum!* I had the mousse that was there for dessert, but wished that I hadn't after I found out how many points it was!! Yikes!!
Yesterday, I found a place that made a salad at the airport. Pricey, but worth every penny to me. I had it made with mixed greens, onion, black olives, tomatoes, cucumber, and chicken. It was served with a whole wheat roll and I snagged some fat free raspberry vinaigrette dressing. Dinner? Was another bar.
While I did okay, I felt like our provided meals were lacking in the vegetable department. My body didn't like being 'deprived' of veggies.
Regardless of the lack of veggies, I did get plenty of exercise in. Hubby and I took the stairs *98% of the time. There were a couple of nights where I was just plain tired.* Our room was on the 8th floor *I was never so thankful to NOT be on the 16th floor!* And I didn't really start to get winded until the 6th floor. I also went to the fitness center 3 times while we were there. Our room was about 10 minutes from the ballroom where our seminars took place *Yes...in the same hotel! Crazy, no?* I also counted all of the walking we did at Sea World, Epcot, and Hollywood Studios.
The trip was wonderful and relaxing. I loved seeing folks that I haven't seen in 4 years. This was a valuable lesson to me. I know now that I can manage no matter the circumstances. It just takes a little planning, some perseverance, and some will power. Anything is possible! Keep at it everyone and I know that you will succeed!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Mommy on the edge!
Warning...for this is a vent on my day, but there is a reason for me posting about this. So...hang on and bear with me.
Today has been highly stressful, highly frustrating, and in some ways disappointing. My children have been acting like something straight out of a chaotic barn *not so much the shortest one, but the older two.* They enjoy rough housing and then usually the middle kid gets 'hurt' and starts in to the crying.
I got all of my things ready to go shopping. On Saturday, I had received this tremendous gift:
So hubby told me I could go today to spend it. By the way, there was a gift card to Old Navy taped on the inside. I am so thankful for the gift! It was truly a blessing. I gathered my card, with gift card attached, and my coupons as there were a few items that I wanted to pick up at the grocery store while I was there *since we have company coming in this week.*
*I know you are probably wondering where I am going with this, so bear with me.*
I scored at WalMart *after a little looking to find the cheap snack I wanted for the girls.*
I was giddy to get to Old Navy. I shopped some of the clearance as I wanted to try and get as much out of my precious gift card as possible. I even had an associate set up a fitting 'room' just for me!! That made me feel pretty special. I actually added things up and had a 25% off coupon if I spent over $100. I got to the checkout and the gal rang it up...$107...woohoo....only $7 out of my pocket. Before I go on, please do not think I am ungrateful or mad at anyone, okay? I guess I was disappointed as when they put the gift card through, it was only for $50. Again...$50 was more than I had before and I still came home with new clothes and I am still super excited about them, I just needed to make a decision on what things I didn't need.
This is what I did come home with:
Off then to Fry's. Since I'm using coupons, I should have known that with such smokin' deals I'd be out of luck, but it was worth a try. I was blown away by the fact that there was not one salad dressing in the kind I was looking for. Again, company coming, so I opted for something else. Off to the cookies...out. I headed to the checkout, grabbed a Coke Zero *but SO wanted a big gooey chocolatey something or other*, got my 2 rain checks, and walked out to the car.
As I drove home, all I could think about was how ungrateful I seem. Maybe petty?
Upon arriving home, my hubby had cooked dinner for the girls *thank you honey...it truly is appreciated.* I asked if there was any left and he said, "yes." Upon further investigation, the noodles weresmothered tossed in olive oil. I apologized to him, but told him I wouldn't be able to eat it *he seemed angry and I couldn't do anything more than apologize.*
The girls were still acting unruly and momma was fried! Here comes the good part....all I want to do it EAT! *I told you I'd get to the real point at hand.*
Have you ever had a day where everything just seems to burn your butt and make you mad? And then, all you want to do is eat? Yep...I'm there...RIGHT NOW. Thankfully, I'm blogging and I'm getting it off my heart. I am sad for feeling the way I do about everything. And, if I had points leftover for the day, you bet I'd be eating something with them! Alas, I am out of daily points *or calories* and I'm not eating another thing more *well...maybe an apple, but those are zero points*. And water. That's it.
I also need to think, "Am I truly hungry? Or do I just want to eat because I've had a hard day?"
I'm sharing this with you all because I know that many of you can relate. I also want you to know...yeah, I struggle with that too. Hang in there! I'm with ya! Have a glass of water and an apple, and call me in the morning. ;) Also...learning these things are all a huge part of this journey.
Today has been highly stressful, highly frustrating, and in some ways disappointing. My children have been acting like something straight out of a chaotic barn *not so much the shortest one, but the older two.* They enjoy rough housing and then usually the middle kid gets 'hurt' and starts in to the crying.
I got all of my things ready to go shopping. On Saturday, I had received this tremendous gift:
*I know you are probably wondering where I am going with this, so bear with me.*
I scored at WalMart *after a little looking to find the cheap snack I wanted for the girls.*
I was giddy to get to Old Navy. I shopped some of the clearance as I wanted to try and get as much out of my precious gift card as possible. I even had an associate set up a fitting 'room' just for me!! That made me feel pretty special. I actually added things up and had a 25% off coupon if I spent over $100. I got to the checkout and the gal rang it up...$107...woohoo....only $7 out of my pocket. Before I go on, please do not think I am ungrateful or mad at anyone, okay? I guess I was disappointed as when they put the gift card through, it was only for $50. Again...$50 was more than I had before and I still came home with new clothes and I am still super excited about them, I just needed to make a decision on what things I didn't need.
This is what I did come home with:
As I drove home, all I could think about was how ungrateful I seem. Maybe petty?
Upon arriving home, my hubby had cooked dinner for the girls *thank you honey...it truly is appreciated.* I asked if there was any left and he said, "yes." Upon further investigation, the noodles were
The girls were still acting unruly and momma was fried! Here comes the good part....all I want to do it EAT! *I told you I'd get to the real point at hand.*
Have you ever had a day where everything just seems to burn your butt and make you mad? And then, all you want to do is eat? Yep...I'm there...RIGHT NOW. Thankfully, I'm blogging and I'm getting it off my heart. I am sad for feeling the way I do about everything. And, if I had points leftover for the day, you bet I'd be eating something with them! Alas, I am out of daily points *or calories* and I'm not eating another thing more *well...maybe an apple, but those are zero points*. And water. That's it.
I also need to think, "Am I truly hungry? Or do I just want to eat because I've had a hard day?"
I'm sharing this with you all because I know that many of you can relate. I also want you to know...yeah, I struggle with that too. Hang in there! I'm with ya! Have a glass of water and an apple, and call me in the morning. ;) Also...learning these things are all a huge part of this journey.
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