Heartfelt Ramblings

Let me first say that this is a non-weight loss post.  It may also get a bit preachy, so back away now if you're afraid.  I laid in bed last night thinking about this and where I could write this particular post.  Well, maybe it does have a little baring on weight, but we'll see how it goes.

Women are sensitive creatures.  We may go through a lot of life experiences that cause us to become 'turtle like'.  Ya know, hard on the outside and soft on the inside.  With that said, men are very much the same, but they tend to be 'turtle like' from the get go.  It's almost engrained in them from the time they are born.  They aren't supposed to reveal their hurts or wear their feelings on their sleeves.

When we choose to love someone, we have to take the good with the bad.  This includes all of the baggage from past experiences and our turtle like appearance.  If our love is based solely on appearance, and our appearances change, sometimes for the bad, then the relationship could end quickly.  If it's not, then you'll love each other no matter the shape or size your significant other may become.  No matter the appearance, love needs to be shown and felt by both sides.

A life long commitment to love one another is hard work.  Very hard.  If it were easy, the divorce rate wouldn't be sitting somewhere at or near 50% here in the United States.  We also live in a 'disposable' society.  If we don't like something, we get rid of it.  Old?  Pitch it.  Wrong color?  Chuck it *or if it's me and I have a receipt, exchange it!*  Do you see where I'm going with this?  If the relationship has become too hard, be done with it.  Walk away.

There are bound to be ups and downs.  And when I say downs, I'm talking digging around in the trenches, feeling like there is no way to come up for air, and possibly losing all sense of time.  You may end up hurting each other.  Even when there are apologies, the hurts may linger.  And linger.  And linger.  But, if you truly love each other and you are truly sorry, then there is a smidge of hope that life is worth living...together.  Am I saying that there are some hurts that aren't beyond the limits of a relationship?  That the hurt/trust that has been broken is impossible to get past?  Sometimes.  But again, I believe in love.  The kind that can see past them.  The unconditional kind.  The kind that loves you no matter what you look like...size 26 *yep, I was there once*...wild hair from getting up out of bed...sweatpants, t-shirt.  You get the picture.

And as our relationships change, and they will, love grows and changes too.  Add in babies and housework, yard work, running kids here and there...oh the list could be endless.  You still love each other for who they are, not for what they did or did not accomplish that day.  I can tell you that there are days when my hubby comes home from work and making sure that our girls didn't kill each other, were fed, were sparkling clean happy, and that the house was still standing was all that I could muster.  I look at him and say, "Sorry."  He shakes his head and says, "It's okay.  I'm not worried about it."

Love also doesn't look at how we did a particular 'job' around the house.  *I had to learn this SO early in our marriage.  I didn't realize how anal retentive I was about some things, like how I did laundry, loaded the dishwasher or doing the dishes, or how some things were cleaned...*  If my hubby does a job around the house, even if it's not the way I would have done it *and I still grumble about it in my head*, I am grateful that he did it.  One less thing I have to do!

All of this to say...love is work.  It can hurt, but it is also amazing.  It brings endless joy, laughter, and encouragement.  Love is for making each other better people.  Someone once said that people are given to us to act like sandpaper in our lives.

Love is the sandpaper that refines us into who we truly are, beneath that hard turtle shell.

Stepping Out Of Your Comfort Zone

If anyone knows me and knows me fairly well, I'm a comfort gal.  I like to stay in my: box, bubble, space...you name it...I'm in it!  I like routine, the familiar, and knowing what to expect.  Does this sound at all like you?  It doesn't?  Carry on.  If it does, read on.

Almost 9 months ago, I made this huge decision to start the C25K program.  You can see my original post about that here.  Talk about stepping out of your comfort zone!!  Running is a leap out of my comfort zone and one that I never anticipated taking.  At some point after finishing the C25K program, I decided to keep going and piggy back the C210K *it basically picks up where the 5k left off.*  After completing that, I did a program called Run For Fat Loss *R4FL*.  I completed that in January *I think.*  I kind of bounced around a bit after that.  I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do with my running.

At the beginning of March, I checked out the ipod app for a half marathon trainer by the same creators of the 5k and 10k app that I had so enjoyed.  It really seemed like it was up my alley.  It was the same set up using intervals to complete your half marathon.  Yes!!  I begged sweetly asked my hubby to let me get the app so that I could start training.  He, without hesitation, said yes.  Yay!

As I have been on this journey, I've learned new things about running.  I have read up on rhythmic breathing which has helped me tremendously.  A few friends have given me the ins and outs of 'fueling' while on longer runs *someone said to me today, "Isn't fueling for cars?" We both laughed, but there is certainly more to it than that.*  And two big things happened in regards to my running:  1) I signed up for a 5k and 2) I signed up for a half marathon.

If you are unfamiliar, a 5k is 3.1 miles.  A half marathon is 13.1 miles.

My 5k, was today.  It was a Color Vibe 5k and thinking that it was only 3.1 miles, I knew I had it in the bag.  One thing I didn't really think much about was where I live and what kind of terrain I'd be running on today.  It was pretty much a trail run which I am not accustomed to.  However, it gave me a glimpse of what my half marathon will be like in August.  In some ways, today's run made me think I was hiking while running.  There were large rocks and roots protruding here and there, and had I been in a car, I might have put my hazards on.  As I approached each color station, I held my breath *which while running is extremely difficult* so that I didn't get color blasted in my mouth.  When all was said and done, I'd burned just shy of 500 calories in my 40 minute 5k.  Average pace = 12:54 min./mi.  For someone who isn't used to trail running and doing some serious hills *24 floors according to my fitbit*...this pace is amazing for me!

With that said, I will most definitely be starting with the walkers at the half marathon in August.  I'm still questioning my sanity in signing up for one.  Again, it's a huge leap out of my comfort zone, but I love that I am continually being challenged.

What have you done lately to get you out of your comfort zone?  Are you challenging yourself?

Too Long!

Hi friends!  It's been nearly 2 months since I blogged anything.  Shameful really.  I've let my thoughts slide for a bit too long.

Here's the skinny on what's been going on here.  I've been OP (on plan) according to WW, but haven't been eating the right things.  This makes me feel quite yucky to be honest.  I'm just now realizing this, crazy huh?  I feel better when I eat a sensible breakfast, a snack, a green salad loaded up with protein and veggies for lunch, another snack, a sensible dinner, and possibly another snack...all before 7pm.  Please also realize that with three children, I am often up when the sun comes up.  Here in AZ right now, it's before six!  Except for this morning when I had the coffee pot programmed to go off at 6 *yes, I'm drinking half caff again* and got up because everyone has been getting up around that time, and here it is *7am* and my children are still in bed!!!  Eh, I'm enjoying the quiet of the morning and my coffee.

In that I am eating what I should, my energy is back and I feel pretty good.  It's interesting to see how making sure that you're eating the good stuff can change the way you feel.  In that I'm training for a half marathon, I am trying to be sure that I'm eating plenty of protein and healthy carbs.  I'm doing a cross between a 'runners diet' and phase 2 of South Beach.

**Hark!  7:02 and I hear the first sounds of girlies!**

Between those two, I feel satisfied all day and I feel like I can last through at least bed time with the girls.  So that's where I'm at.  I need to look back at my goals for the year too.  I'll have to do another review here pretty soon.

And a few new things we've been making/using:  milk kefir and 1% ricotta.  I made my first batch of ricotta yesterday and it's really good!  We've been using milk kefir for a month or more and the girls love having a kefir smoothie *not to mention it's good for them!*

I hope you all are hanging in there.  Or at least trying to!

Back At It-Day 2

I think completely blowing it, has really helped me to see the bigger picture.  I have had such tight control over this particular area in my life that I think I needed this 'fall' to let go just a little and refocus on what is most important.  Just staying healthy.

Today was a busy day.  My morning was spent buying our monthly groceries, getting them home, putting them away, and separating meat for the freezer.  I needed to get into town and back in time for my hubby to be to work.  I left for town around 7:30.  With that thought in mind, I grabbed a 'quick' breakfast = a granola bar and some water.

When I got home, I was starving.  Instead of grabbing something terrible, I grabbed a bowl of granola *are sensing a theme here so far?* and milk to tide me over until lunch.

Lunch = 2c lettuce, 1oz fat free feta cheese, 1 radish, 1/2 of a green onion, 2 tbsp of sunflower seeds, some cucumber and zucchini all tossed with 2 tbsp of light raspberry vinaigrette.  I also had 2 tbsp of peanut butter.

Snacks = yogurt and an apple.

Dinner = turkey and veggie meatloaf, 1/2 c quinoa, and a salad.

The girls helped me make some tasty muffins.  I'm choosing not to have one tonight.  I might have tomorrow.  I am going to make overnight buckwheat groats for breakfast tomorrow and I'll have some egg whites to go with it.

If you've already seen my meals, then ignore this, but it helps me to write it all down.  :)

I Fell

I'm going to be honest with you my readers.  I think this has been lurking for quite some time and while I have had some serious splurges in the past, I've never splurged so much that I couldn't 'account' for what I ate.

I fell off the wagon last night.  Once off the wagon, I got dragged along behind it and was hitting some substantial rocks that were protruding from the path.  I have prided myself in the last *almost* 2 1/2 years for staying 'on plan'.  That means: counting everything and staying within my points/calories for any given day/week.  Now, I've said to you all...count everything and move on.  I will say that I counted everything, but to remain 'on plan' I had to stay within my points/calories.  I didn't do that.  It isn't pretty, but I'm being honest here.

With that said, I promised my hubby that I would get back on the wagon this morning.  And, I have.

I think that sometimes we have past hurts...current hurts that fester.  They finally caught up with me.  Hubby and I had a chance to sit down and really talk last night.  I even had a chance to talk with hubby's best friend which was also a breath of fresh air.  I think my head has been slowly sinking below the water line to that dangerous drowning stage and talking candidly with his friend and with him, allowed my head to pop up above the water line for some much needed air.

I haven't given up.  I truly haven't.  The path was just a bit bumpy and it threw me out of the wagon.

So far today:

buckwheat groats
stevia for sweetening
pure pumpkin
coffee

On the menu for the rest of the day:
salad for lunch
fish for dinner

Purpose of all this?  To let you all know, I'm human too.  We all hit bumps in the road, but we need to get up, dust ourselves off, and get back on.  Hang in there friends!

Valentine's Day--Be Kind To Yourself!

I *semi-recently* talked about saving yourself.  This post will piggy back that one.  Now that we're approaching Valentine's Day, I want you not to think about the chocolates that abound during this time of year *especially as we approach Easter*.  Did I mention that I saw Cadbury eggs at the grocery store when I went shopping last week?  Sheesh!  I digress.

Let's think of some things that will show that you love yourself *again...don't go thinking that I'm talking about being self-absorbed or selfish*.

Here we go...a list of things to show that you love yourself:

1. Eating healthy food options.
2. Eat proper food portions of said healthy food options *even healthy food can be 'abused.'*
3. Move your buns in a fashion that will cause your heart rate to be raised in such a way that you might expend some calories.
4. Drink plenty of water.
5. Get plenty of rest *aka sleep*.
6. Pamper yourself from time to time *this is more for the ladies...give yourself a pedicure or have one done; manicure; hair cut; take a hot bubble bath w/ candles lit in a safe manner; a new outfit to show off the evidence of loving yourself through #1-5.*
7. Don't deprive yourself of a little something from time to time (ie: *a* piece of chocolate, but if it will cause you to stumble, don't try it yet)
8. Spend some time doing something you enjoy.  Maybe you enjoy crocheting, reading a good book, crafting, or baking.  Make sure it's something you enjoy.

What are some ways that you can 'love' yourself?  *I probably could also say 'be kind to yourself.'*  

Coffee or Tea?

Or neither?

As with everything else in my food journey, I've had to come to some hard realizations.  One of them being with my coffee.  I love my coffee.  The problem with my coffee is that I love a nice flavored creamer and sugar in it.  I love it to the point that I've had 3 cups in the morning and then for a 'sweet' something in the afternoon, I'll brew some decaf and have 3 more cups.  What I'm saying is that I could potentially drink an entire pot of coffee in a day...even if it isn't all regular.

So for the sake of saving myself calories/points for other more nutritional food stuffs, I decided to go strictly to tea.  Here lies a benefit to tea...less caffeine.  I also thought that I'd drink tea on the mornings when my hubby isn't home *which can be 5 days a week* and then have my coffee with him on the mornings he's home. 

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Picture this...I've gone nearly a week without coffee.  Hubby is home *yay for coffee!* so I brew it up.  I have my 'normal' 3 cups with the fixins.  What a horribly bad idea this was!  Within a half hour or so of finishing my last cup, I started in to 'the shakes.'  Then I felt nauseous and my heart felt like it was racing.  I ended up laying down on the couch for a few minutes to let it subside.  What an awful feeling that was!

My conclusion?  No more coffee.  Period.

Well...except for the occasional decaf or half caff.  I did get a half caff latte at the coffee shop this week and had no ill effects.

So now, I have this thing for flavored teas.  I haven't really become my own tea store, but it may get to that point.  My favorites right now are:  Bigelow Vanilla Chai, Bigelow Green Tea w/ Blueberry, Bigelow Constant Comment *both regular and decaf*, Celestial Seasonings Honey Vanilla Chamomile, Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime Vanilla, and Celestial Seasonings Honey Lemon Ginseng Green Tea.

It appears that I am partial to these two brands at the moment.  The blueberry is so smooth, you'd never know you were drinking tea!  Also, I'm drinking just two cups in the morning and I'm not adding a bunch of stuff to it either.  I may throw in another cup in the afternoon or evening, but it usually is a decaf something or other.

And, believe it or not, tea is healthier for you.  Here is one article that talks about the benefits of tea.  And here is another article that describe a few different benefits to tea *some are the same*.  I'm sure you could continue to look for articles that talk about it.  I googled 'benefits to drinking tea.'  Have at!

But Kati, I love my coffee.  I can't live without it.  I get it.  Boy, do I get it.  But, I'll give anything a go for more than a week if it means I'll be healthier for it.  If you aren't a tea drinker, then maybe this idea isn't for you.  Again, just my ramblings on a cold and rainy night...whilst I drink a cup of hot Sleepytime Vanilla tea *which is also very tasty by the way*.

If you struggle with the amount of coffee you consume in a day...maybe it's time to switch it up.